Have you gone through a rite of passage?
I have heard that we all go through one or many ‘rites of passage’ as we transition into parenthood and for my own transition into motherhood, there have been a few.
We had a few miscarriages, rough pregnancy, labour and birth. We leaned on family, friends, and a counsellor to process this event and spoke openly about it with our midwife. Honestly, I can say that the trauma of these experiences has not carried on for us, and I am so glad we were able to respond in the moment to our own needs to process so we could be present for our son when he had his ‘grand entrance’.
After he arrived, we were blessed with family support
My recovery from labour and birth was a bit rough but staring into the eyes of our wee boy melted everything else away. I was blessed to have ease with breastfeeding as well. Our midwife said we had such a rough go prior to and during our son’s ‘grand entrance’ it was a blessing our early days postpartum were fairly good.
What have your ‘rites of passage’ been and how have you moved through them? Have you found support to lean on? Do you have a community, partner, family or counsellor to help you through this time of monumental change and transformation?
I have found that being flexible and adaptable is a saving grace as I learn about having an infant, who my son is, about myself as a mother, my husband as a father, and the changes we are going through as a family. Something will work one week, day or moment and not the next. It will likely throw me and confuse me, but in the end, if I don’t adapt I am banging my head against a brick wall! The ones to suffer are my family and me.
Instead, if I adapt and explore new possibilities leaning into what is happening in the moment, there is less struggle. What a lesson in mindfulness and being present!! One of my biggest adaptations has been around sleep.
Sleep – what is sleep?
I don’t know about your experience but my little guy still struggles with sleep, and he is nye on a year. When I talk about sleep difficulties I mean last night I got a 2 hour stretch and it was every 30-60 minutes waking up thereafter. For me, I have chosen to believe that parenting doesn’t end at night. If sleep is something he struggles with, I am going to respond the best way I know how.
My solution – co-sleeping. Something I never thought I would do but I would get no sleep if it weren’t for being willing to give this a go. I not only had to do what might work for my son to give him his best chance at feeling comforted and able to settle into sleep but also what would work for me and allow me to get some sleep!! My openness to try co-sleeping seems to have been my best solution.
How are you being called to be present and adapt to what is happening in your life?
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Check out this video on How to Raise your Kids with Mental Health Top of Mind!